Why Green is my New Favourite Colour- Sorry Aerosmith

 As with every human being, evolving from squirmy amoeba to fully fledged adult, I have gone through “phases”

  •  The Pink period: Growing up as a female, parents are duty bound by society to dress you in pink and buy you barbie dolls to ensure that you are comfortable with growing into your feminine expectations.
  • The Tomboy period: During my primary school career I was constantly receiving hidings and detentions for having a dirty school dress and face and nails as I would spend my break times sliding down the muddy embankments having competitions who could make it the fastest with my mates.
  • The rebel period: In high school, I came to the realisation that every group of friends kind of get grouped together into a stereotype. Think jocks, cheerleaders, library nerds. I made a conscious decision to reject all stereotypes and just be me.

  • The goth period: Ironically, I became a stereotype. I went through my “black phase” and was following the perceived lifestyle of a goth. Moody, angry, deep, pensive and looking for the shock factor
  • The Splash period: I studied Fine Art at University and went through a phase of having my brain crow-barred open and creativity spraying out the gaping hole at the top of my head. At the same time I was working in a pub and the colourful characters and stories were enough inspiration for 10 artists.

  • The grey period: I left University sooner than I expected and had to start working as student loans don’t pay themselves (thanks dad for helping with that). But alas, I soon fell into the corporate grey and deadness. My creative spray dried up to an arid plain of profit and loss, sales numbers and bosses.
  • The green period: Then I joined my (soon-to-be-ex-company) and found that there can still be fun in business and (unfortunately for me) the big green monster which was our company drink- absinthe

As mentioned in my previous blogs, my induction to open source and the community was a rude awakening to the idea that there is more than one world out there with streams of thought and collective consciousness. This to me was about as important as my first ever History of Art lecture at University. In this milestone lecture, the Professor at the time told us to leave all our predispositions of religion, politics, social norms and everything we thought we knew about life at the door because what he was about to teach us would blow our minds and change the way we think about life as we know it. So what has this got to do with green you may ask in exasperation? Why, “elementary my dear Watson, elementary” I shall reply in a calm, knowing manner only infuriating your thirst for answers even more.

  1.  Colour- Green is a secondary Colour and a fusion of blue and yellow. I am a fusion of cultures and ideas so I tend to associate with it. Actually, I personally think it is an awesome colour and my 5 year old nephew tends to agree- so how can you argue
  2. Hippies and Tree Huggers- “green IT” and “greener lifestyles” is a big buzz at the moment with everyone trying to reduce their carbon footprint. But the hippies and tree-huggers had it right from the start and as “Conspiracy Keanu” put it….”What if the government is putting something in the shampoo to control our minds, and that’s why the people with the dirtiest hair have the most conspiracy theories” heheh

  3. Cape Town and Mystical Mountain (auras or healing vibes)- Like Shoowow! This speaks for itself.
  4. South Africa- One of the colours in the SA flag and I am proudly South African
  5. The incredible Hulk- “Don’t make me angry, you won’t like me when I’m angry”…Pretty much! Although I don’t own a pair of ripped purple pants and the only muscles I have are hidden deep below layers of comfort food- I still think he is pretty awesome!

So for now, my blood pumps green. Not with envy but with pride!

awesome-fully-natural-green-place-beautiful-hd-wallpapers

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Really Bad Poetry- Weak and Powerless

A while ago, during my insanely sad period of my life, I was trying to vocalise how I felt.

Ironically, I can talk the hind-leg off a donkey about things that I have an opinion on or general conversational topics…but heaven forbid I am asked to express my own feelings. This normally ends badly heheh! So it is my goal for the next year to write something personal, something frivalous and draw at least 1 thing everyday for the next 6 months to try and aid my cause.

Image —by:HaganeNoBlackRose, Deviant Art

Weak and Powerless

We spend our whole lives searching

Eagerly, at first

All your senses on fire, seeking, exploring, with all the childlike wonder of new spawn

 

As the day wears on, you tire of the fruitless search

The flame is but an ember now

When the realisation strikes you down

With groggy eyes you look upward

You have been walking in circles

 

In that moment of silence you listen

Nothing

Drawing on every memory to grasp at just a flicker of hope

Nothing

 

Although you are numb, you are on fire

You scramble, you claw, you grab, you cling to every last inch of your sanity

You throw every conceivable reason, outcome, plan, out to stoke the fire

You begin to fill the void

 

Too late

 

It’s only as the last empty ember dies

A moment of absolute clarity, serenity, calm, washes over you

It was all in vain

But it’s over now

 

The endless searching, obsessing, the incessant scratching at a hope of meaning

Prevented you from seeing the obvious

You accept your fate

And slip unencumbered into the enlightened

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Remembering your Feminine Feet in a Man’s World

I was at a Geek Girl Dinner (checkout http://ggdcpt.wordpress.com/) in Cape Town in the beginning of the the year, and one of the speakers brought up a really fantastic point. She asked the audience to raise their hand if anyone is in the same profession as their grandmother or mother. There were literally a handful of the over 100 women in the audience who raised their hands. Her point was this: in this day and age, the women in my generation (call it early 30s) haven’t had the plethora of strong female leaders as mentors in the IT field that men have had to look up to for decades. Don’t misunderstand me, I am not saying that there are none. There are many women who have struggled up to where they are today and are leaders in their industries. The point I am making is that compared to men in that same role, our numbers pale in comparison. The talk concluded by saying that we have to forge our own ways ahead and be the leaders that the Generation Z ladies will aspire to be.

After that talk, I was very inspired to take a look at my own life and see where I would be able to provide mentorship and examples to generations coming up under me.

I am by no-means technical and therefore couldn’t really provide the skills that young developers, sysadmins and IT Manageresses would be able to practically use. My offering to young women joining IT would be to remember your feminine feet while climbing the corporate ladder in this mans world. “What could you possibly mean by that?!” I hear you cry incredulously. Let me explain…

boys-vs-girlsSince I was young, whenever I did anything right or did something well, I was always rewarded with pat on the back by the masculine influences in my life saying “good job, you did that like a guy” or “wow you did that just like a man would have”. So naturally, growing up I thought that I needed to aspire to be more like a guy as doing things like “throwing like a girl” or “running like a girl” seemed to have negative connotations attached to them. I struggled for years growing up as I was always aiming to be one of the guys with my friends but one of the girls at the same time. I found that I was splitting both aspects of my personality into 2 separate personas. Now, having grown up a little (I really do mean a little), having the life knocked into me by the journey we take to get to where we are, I realise that what I was doing when I was younger was completely wrong.

who-are-youYou are who you are. And for myself, I found that I am a good mix between the two. I am a tomboy at heart and still ride motorbikes and enjoy a cold beer with the guys at the end of the day. But at the same time, I am a woman and fiercely proud of that. As a woman, I am complex, full of compassion and able to carry the burden of others until they are strong enough to stand alone again. In business I have found that this has stood me in good stead. I have had to “grow a pair”and stand my ground for issues which need resolving but still retain a relationship by empathizing and find compromise with clients around their needs.

22662_249157832931_2302637_n —> Yes that’s me

So my advice to the Generation Z’s about to join the wonderfully terrifying world of IT, is to keep true to who you are. Whether you climb your corporate ladder in pumps, stillettos or studded biker boots- keep your feminine feet because you are amazing just as you are!

images (1)

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A non-technical girl in a technical world

The company I’m currently working for, LSD Information Technology (www.lsd.co.za), has just released the first of many blogs. They will be a mix between general thoughts and musings, pure hardcore geeky stuff and technical information. Really worth checking it out.

The first one is mine 🙂

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Fear and Loathing in Las WordPress- a nervous introduction to myself

About a month ago I went on a writing binge. A creative overdose induced by 2 weeks of an unusually high dependency on anti-depressants, tranquillisers, coffee and cigarettes. I think in short….this was the beginning of my mid-life crisis. You may ask yourself, “why is a borderline 30 year-old concerning herself with mid-life crises?”.

Well, firstly- I had an incredible amount of experiences in my pre-21 days and was fully expecting for it to have caught up to me by now. And secondly, I think it’s a natural progression in every individual’s journey to go through patches where going “cold turkey” and removal of yourself from your comfort zone is a rough and extreme method of finding your next logical step in life.

“You sleep deprived hippie!” I hear you cry. You are absolutely correct, however, I think there is some truth in my ramblings and this post is certainly testament to that. I would never have publicly shared an opinion or exposed a sliver of my tortured soul before. In fact I would rather have “Take(n) baths with a man-eating shark, or wrestled a lion alone in the dark, eat spinach or liver, pet ten porcupines…” (Jack Prelutsky, Homework! Oh Homework!) so there!

In conclusion, don’t judge this previously diagnosed with anal-retention, recovering work-a-holic too harshly on these brief glimpses into my twisted mind.

 

 

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